“Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?”
— Ed [Nick Frost, Shaun of the Dead]
What’s the situation?
Two blokes and a fuckload of cutlery.
“You’re like Mr. T, but white and hairy.”
— Tim [Pegg, Spaced]
“And, to top it off, her hair looks stupid. All the time.”
— Tim Bisley [Simon Pegg, Spaced]
“You’re off the fuckin’ chain!”
— Danny Butterman [Nick Frost, Hot Fuzz]
Angel: This is murder!
Danny: It’s not. It’s ketchup!
Reverend Shooter: Here to announce the winners is the newest addition to the Sandford Police Force.
Angel: Service.
Reverend Shooter: Sergeant Nicholas Angel.
Andy Cartwright: Prick.
Andy Wainwright: Wanker.
“I don’t remember a time when I didn’t wanna be a police officer. Apart from the summer of 1979 when I wanted to be Kermit the Frog.”
— Nicholas Angel [Simon Pegg, Hot Fuzz]
Danny: What made you want to be a policeman?
Angel: Officer.
Danny: What made you want to be a policeman officer?
Andy Cartwright: Here, what else you got, Crockett and Tubby?
Angel: Skid marks.
Andy Wainwright: Now who’s being childish?
Danny: She’s nice isn’t she?
Angel: She certainly has a distinctive laugh.
Danny: She was my year at school. Always had a thing for her.
Angel: She clearly has a thing for older men.
Danny: What? With Martin Blower? No way!
Angel: We just sat through three hours of so called ‘acting’, Constable, and their kiss was the only convincing moment in it.
Danny: Right. Hey, now that you mention it, I have reason to believe she favors the older gent.
Angel: Really? How so?
Danny: Marcus Carter’s big brother said he’d fingered her up the dunghole.
Angel: See what I did there?
Danny: You hypnotized him.
“Have you ever fired your gun up in the air and gone ‘ah’?”
— Danny Butterman [Nick Frost, Hot Fuzz]
“Did you cook any fools?”
— Danny Butterman [Nick Frost, Hot Fuzz]
Angel: Look, I can assure you it wasn’t my intention to uset the apple cart.
Andy Cartwright: Yeah, ‘cause we all sell apples ‘round here, don’t we?
Danny: My dad sells apples, Andy.
Andy Cartwright: And rasberries.
